Alan Marx
September 1st, 2014
Professor Young
English 1100
Object that describes me
Throughout
my entire life I have always loved cars I give my mother, my father, and my
brother all of the credit, It all started when I was 3 years old and my father
put me on his lap and let me steer down our street and into the driveway, who
would ever let their child do something like that at 3 years old. My mom did
something a little less extreme but she would take me around the parking lot at
her work and I would name all of the cars in the lot, I got really good at it
all I needed was to see the emblem and I would know it. And then there was my
brother that let me watch a PG-13 movie at the age of 5 called The Fast and the
Furious, which was all about tuner cars and has been my favorite movie of all
time ever since the first day I watched it. My friends always ask me why it is
my favorite movie because it isn’t by any means a well shot movie, and it isn’t
anywhere near the top 100 movies of all time but to me it is very special and I
still watch it to this day With all of that said my automobile that I own today
best describes who I am as a person. I have a black Honda accord coupe, which
is a tuner car. The car is clean, fast and furious which fits my personality in
a direct way. I am a very neat person all of my rooms stay clean and of coarse
my car stays clean as well, I am a very fast person, meaning a run very fast,
my mom said that I run like a bullet around the base path when I am playing
baseball and my coach’s say the same, and lastly furious. Do not mistake this
last word I am not a furious person by any means, I am loyal to my friends and
family and whenever they need me I am there, but one of my friends once said to
me that I always seem to have this grin on my face that I am angry and all I
can say to them is that, that is the way I always am, I am a very serious
person that wouldn’t be afraid to stick up for myself or anyone else, and
that’s what the movie fast and the furious taught me to be fast and protect the
ones that I love in my life.
Alan, you do a good job of writing about your experience with cars, but where in your essay have you told your reader *why* cars contribute to your identity? In the middle of your paragraph you say, "...With all of that said my automobile that I own today best describes who I am as a person." but within this sentence you do not say *why* it describes you as a person. Please do this.
ReplyDeleteAlso, for each example that you write to describe your car as it relates to you, you must start a new paragraph. Follow the directions on the handout that I gave you. Each paragraph must be a SEER and each new idea that shows your identity must be a new paragraph. Do this.
Also, when you describe yourself as a furious person, how does your car relate to this? Like how is your car furious? Are you saying the movie Fast and Furious identifies you or your car? Make this distinction clearer.
Good start but keep going.